This past January, God placed a dream in my heart to walk with women through their stories for the purpose of reconnecting them to their God-given design. This dream began after a season of seeing what a significant impact a mothers’ soul health plays in the lives of her children…whether a healthy soul bringing about a life-giving impact or an unhealthy soul bringing about a detrimental impact. As I’ve listened to so many people’s stories over the years, the thread of the mom’s impact began to be highlighted and magnified.
It seemed as I listened more intently to others’ stories, often a person’s season(s) of greatest pain occurred during a time in childhood or adolescence when the mom wasn’t emotionally healthy. More specifically, it seemed that either direct or indirect hurt (whether emotional, physical, or otherwise) occurred in a person’s story when his/her mom couldn’t deal with life on some level during a season in that person’s childhood or adolescence.
Let me pause there. Just so you know the truth and to caution us from engaging judgment and condemnation: we all, each one of us, can’t deal with life on some level and to varying degrees at various points in our lives. The pattern I saw in these people’s stories, though, was simply that the moms had seasons of not being able to deal with life yet didn’t pursue transformation or healing of the issue or struggle in the “can’t deal” seasons, ultimately cascading hurt onto their children.
As I saw this, a dream began.
What if, in my generation, I did what I could do to prevent this pattern from spreading? More specifically, what if I could sit with women and hear their stories and help them connect the dots in their life stories of God-given design and life themes to pursue, lies that are believed that need to be overhauled with truth, and wounds that need healing. What if we could identify the “can’t deal” places and find healing and hope and tools for those? What would happen if we could connect the dots of our stories and not be stuck in the “can’t deal” places, not be bound by the places of pain and struggle? What would happen in our own selves? What would be the cascade into our children’s lives? Envisioning the ripple effect of moms living life connected to their God-given design, living from truth (and not from lies), and ultimately living with healthy souls is so, so beautiful to me.
So, I began to engage this dream. I began to pray and pursue training in these areas. And as I began, I also had a sense that God would want to start this process of maternal soul health with me. And He has. I did not expect the intensity of the process He would begin taking me through this year. Yet, it makes sense…how could I take women somewhere I hadn’t first gone myself. So, I’ve been engaging the process He has me in, facing anything He unfolds in front of me. It’s been a soul-healing year for sure. Destabilizing at times. Unfamiliar often. But new and better and hopeful and restorative always.
This past weekend, I went to an interactive training on emotional healing. It was incredibly intense and way “outside the box”! In fact, I am still trying to discern how I feel about the training. What the training did, though, is let me see myself with a new depth of honesty. While humbling, I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to look at myself with such clarity. It was like looking at my soul in a mirror.
After such an intense experience and seeing myself with such clarity, there are many things now to process with God, for me to pray through, for me to ask Him for further transformation and healing. I feel slowed in my life. Which is actually a really good thing for me…a slowing of all the drive, ambition, productivity, and accomplishing to sit still, listen, and heal. So, I will be taking the next six weeks (at least) as a blogging sabbatical. I will be stepping back and spending time engaging my soul with God and seeing what He has planned in this process of Him guiding me into my own “maternal soul health.” For these next six weeks, I will let the blog be silent but didn’t want to do so without letting you all know why.
So, will you pray for me as I engage this process? And will you also pray for the dream…the hope of one day being able to walk with women into their own stories so that they, too, have soul healing and become reconnected to their God-given design?
(Photo credits: Val)