North, Part 1

I shared a while back that while we were on our unexpected vacation to our hometown, there were things God was working on in our hearts as far as “next steps” go. My husband has felt a strong pull to be involved with underserved and low income communities for a long time. One of his really good friends had moved into the north part of our city to invest in this low income area. Since my husband’s friend has moved up there, that friend has been mentoring many teenage guys up there, having them over to his house, helping them out with school related issues, walking them through the Bible in a way that is relevant to them, and much more. My husband has had a strong pull to support his friend and invest in these teenage guys, too.

While we were home in February, my husband really felt God leading him/us to move into that neighborhood to be more of a support. My response was not quite so enthusiastic. My biggest fear is not the neighborhood; rather, my biggest fear is my own emotional stability and limitations. I really struggled emotionally during and right after my first pregnancy. Every aspect of my life had changed as I got married and, within weeks after I got married, was pregnant. This made for a rather tumultuous pregnancy and difficult post-partum season. I am pretty sure I cried almost every day the first year of our marriage. Because of this, I have made an effort to keep transitions and major decisions to a minimum during and after this second pregnancy. For the sake of my family and my own heart, I understand my emotional limitations while my body and hormones are being hijacked to make a little human being.

The bottom line truth, though, is that I trust my husband and I trust God. I know that my husband wants what’s best for our whole family. And I know that it is better to risk following God into something that may be a little difficult than to ignore the call and regret the result of unwillingness. I also know that God is bigger than all that I am afraid of. I know that if this is Him, He can provide the right house at the right time. Some days I walk more in this knowledge than other days. I also know that my husband feels such a pull in this direction that he is willing to work with me on anything that will make this transition easier.

I do not have any grand dreams of neighborhood transformation as we pursue moving into this neighborhood in the north. I am very clear in my calling right now: know God, take care of my husband, create life for and train up my kid(s), build friendships with the women in my husband’s medical residency, and serve others in the ways and time the Lord allows. This is all. I am already committed to these areas and really cannot fathom doing more, nor do I feel called to do more. The move would allow us to be more present in the north part of the city. It would allow my husband to really invest in these teenage guys. It is a way for me to support my husband and be present in what he feels called to do.

The exciting part for me is that we would be moving into a house and out of an apartment. We are very content with the set-up in our apartment; however, to live in a house would be such a gift! The neighborhood we are planning on moving into is a historic neighborhood. The houses we have looked at were built between 1910 and 1940. Some of them are really beautiful.

Please pray for us as we make the decision. Details that are yet to be determined: whether to buy or rent (we are dedicated to paying down medical school loans, so we want to be wise with how we spend our money), timing of the move (moving during the second trimester would be ideal, so that our home could be set up and running smoothly before Baby Dos gets here), and overall direction from the Lord. On a personal level, I could use prayer for my “emotional health” as we make a transition in the middle of this pregnancy.