For the Ladies: Homebuilder

Homebuilder – The Call and The Application

The home is the hub for the family to be ministered to, and as they are ministered to in the home, they can bring people into the home to minister to them. The home is meant to be one of the core centers of ministry.

If the woman understands herself through a Gospel identity as a follower of Jesus, then her ultimate reality comes from the Scripture as her source of truth. In order to approach the next role of the woman, it is vital to keep the Scripture as the filter through which we determine our priorities. Scripture clearly calls the woman to build her home, listing out a variety of ways that the woman does this. This call to build her home is not necessarily at the exclusion of another job; however, it is clear in Scripture that the husband’s responsibility is to work and provide for his family and the wife’s responsibility and call is to build her home. Women are free to work (the woman in Proverbs 31 had business ventures outside the home) with the understanding that their primary call is to build their home.

I actually really struggled with the value of this call when I first got married. Before I got married, I had been a successful elementary school teacher, mentoring other teachers, and working towards my master’s degree in school administration. I was also a deacon at my church and a small groups’ coach. When I married my husband, I moved to the town he lived in and at his suggestion took a year off of work. It felt so foreign to me to be primarily focused on our home and not primarily focused on outside work/monistry. Early on in our marriage, when he shared that it mattered a lot to him that I cook dinner for him, I was appalled that he expected me to cook dinner all the time. I did not realize at the time that I was actually ministering to him through every dinner I cooked.

I really did not have a personal context for the importance of my role as homebuilder. God began working on my heart. My husband, also, began helping me learn how to be a homebuilder within the context of the woman I was created to be. My husband continually praised all that I did to create our home, and after our son was born, my husband continually affirmed how valuable he it was (is) for me to stay home with our son. I share all this simply to communicate, that I am a part of a culture of women who really struggle with the call to be homebuilders. After our son was born, I spent time studying the Scripture and evaluating our life so that I could understand what it was that I was actually called as a woman/wife/mom. I loved my previous career and ministry; however, Scripture was so clear that the call of the woman is her husband, children, and home before a career. It was a major paradigm shift for me to align myself with the Scriptural calling towards the home. So, what does Scripture say about the call and the living out the reality of homebuilder?

The Call

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. (Proverbs 14:1)

She looks well to the ways of her household… (Proverbs 31:27)

…working at home… (Titus 2:5)

So far, we have seen that as women, we are called to the following roles: Christian, wife, and mother. Next, we are also called to the role of homebuilder. A woman (whether single or married) builds her home through managing the every day practical needs of her home, while also creating a place of rest, life, and worship in her home. She does this through engaging her children and husband under a long-term perspective of what she is trying to build into their lives. As we have seen in the roles of wife and mom, the woman is continually connecting with God in order to help her husband and children become the people they were created to be. The power of her role in their lives is immeasurable. Naturally, the home environment she creates for them will largely affect their every day reality and the people they will become.

I asked my husband what parts of being a homebuilder he saw as most important. He shared that what he sees is that the call of the homebuilder is about presence and provision. He explained that the wife’s call is to create a home where she facilitates the activity and presence of God. She is making a space for her husband and children to live their life. By her investment and presence in their home, she has the opportunity to create an environment of life and peace. Questions the woman should ask herself about what her home feels like are: “Do my husband and my children want to be at home?” “Is there life for my husband and my children in our home?” “Do they laugh when they are at home?” and “Do they feel safe in our home?” Basically, the first part of the call of homebuilder is to create an environment for the family to have life, laughter, and safety. The home is meant to be a sanctuary, a place where the family is ministered to. As the family is being ministered to, the family is able to work together to minister to others by inviting others into their life and home. The home is the center of much ministry.

My husband explained that he sees that the second part of being a homebuilder…provision…is about the practical measures of providing for the home. This is where we see the woman providing food for her household, clothing for her family, and decorating their home. She creates a tangible environment through how she provides for her family’s needs. Is the overall environment peace or clutter? Are the children dressed well or haphazardly? Does the family eat together or is the family full of “lone ranger” eaters? These are some of the provisional ways the woman creates her home.

The Application

Below is a list of ways that the woman builds her home. It is vital to look at each statement through the filter of the woman God made you to be. The phrases below are principles to apply to your life. The way these principles are lived out in your life will be specific to you and the woman you were created to be. You have a unique set of strengths and gifts that God gave you. God intends you to use your gifts and strengths for your family’s benefit. Your methods of living out these principles many not look like other women’s methods. Be careful to read the following as principles and not performance check marks.

We as women have to be so careful to not compare ourselves to other women and how they put these principles into practice in their lives. So when we see that the Proverbs 31 woman provides food for her family, we must apply that principle to ourselves. Some women may be vegetarians or may have a conviction about providing organic food, while others may simply focus on taste or efficiency of cooking, while still others may be all about presentation. You miss the Spirit-led life when you compare your living out of these principles to the way other women live them out. The goal is to ask God how He has designed you to live out these principles for the building of your home and the development of your family.

I would suggest taking time to pray over each of the following statements, asking God to reveal to you how He designed you to live these out. Also, ask Him specifically what your family needs in each of these areas and how He can enable you to provide for your family’s specific needs. Ask Him what He desires for your home to feel like.

- Provides food for her household (Proverbs 31:14 -15)
- Manages her home (by the way, the Proverbs woman has hired help) (Proverbs 31:15, 21, 27)
- Uses her gifts and strengths to participate in profitable business ventures that benefit her home/family (Proverbs 31:16,18)
- Clothes her household warm and well (they look good) (Proverbs 31:21)
- Dresses herself well (Proverbs 31:22)
- Decorates her home/bedroom ( Proverbs 31:22)
- Is not lazy/idle (Proverbs 31:27)
- Busy working at home (Titus 2:5)
- Builds her house (in wisdom, as opposed to tearing it down in folly) (Proverbs 14:1)

In Closing

Being a homebuilder is countercultural. Others have also addressed this concept well. Below is a sermon and another blog post address the countercultural call of “homebuilder.”

“Women as Homebuilders” (Sermon), click here.

“Cultural Cliches” (Blog Post), click here.