The Speed of Life

…you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (James 4:14)

I never felt like my life was going by quickly until now. I’ve heard parents say how fast life goes once you have children…now I feel that reality. I am one month in to being a mom of two, and I already feel the speed of life increasing. Each day is constant motion. Just to take care of our basic needs as a family, I am moving from one task to the next to the next. And when the necessary tasks (feed, clothe, diaper) are fulfilled, I try to prioritize connecting with one of my sons or my husband. It is this constant motion that seems to make life go more quickly.

In this constant motion, I want to be still enough inside myself to not miss the moments that are happening all around me. I want to be connected to God, hear His voice, see His activity, and worship Him with my life.

I want to love my husband well. It is so easy in this “baby” stage to become amazing teammates, tag-teaming our boys and getting everything accomplished; however, I still want to prioritize our friendship and romance, making a point to really see him and know his heart. I see how easy it is to lose that best friendship and passion…I don’t want to find myself waking up in twenty years when the kids are grown, realizing I lost track of “us” somewhere along the way. I want to know him now and always. I want to love him well now and always. I do not want to miss him in the midst of the urgent and necessary tasks. He is my favorite person in the world and I do not want to forget that or take him for granted.

In an effort to truly enjoy my boys, I am trying to keep low expectations of myself and of our life. I know that it is not as important to have a perfectly ordered house and “be amazing” if it means that I am not actually present with my boys. This takes considerable effort on my part because I am so task oriented and love feeling like I’ve accomplished “things.” It takes extra effort for me to prioritize necessary tasks and release unnecessary ones. It takes focus for me to stop (when there are at least eight more things I could do) and play cars with my toddler or just lie in bed and talk with my newborn.

What I know is that I do not want this speeding life to find me at the end wondering what happened. Even in the constant motion and the crazy speed of life, I want to live each day being fully present…seeing God, seeing my husband, seeing our boys. This will take intentionality on my part every day…and in the end it will be so worth it.

“The world is full of people who will go their whole lives and not actually live one day. She did not intend on being one of them.” (quote from a “Curly Girl” magnet)