This past week, some time opened up for me to have a few full days to work on my book. Yes, yes, that’s right. My book. It sounds really exciting, doesn’t it. However, today, I’d rather just not look at it anymore and instead put it in a manila file folder, label it with a pink label (pink for “my writing”), and stash it away in my blue filing cabinet.
This book began as a personal study after my first son was born. Then it became a series of blog posts. After that, it developed into a Bible study I did with some of the wives from the residency where my husband works. From there, I began the rewrite in hopes of publishing it.
This past week I completed that rewrite. And have since sent it off to a handful of “sample” readers from various life stages and circumstances. I am currently awaiting their comments and feedback. I specifically asked my husband to read through it, as well, knowing that I’d rather publish something with his input than have his first read be when the book finds itself on bookstore shelves.
Today, I feel that question circling, “What am I even doing?!” It is a mix of insecurity, fear, exhaustion, and anticipation of the coming feedback and necessary work. It feels a bit like I climbed one mountain only to discover that the next one is even bigger than the one I just climbed.
This is just a little window of what is going on in my life today. This blog is where I tell the story of what God is doing in my life…with the emphasis that my whole life is meant to be an act of worship. This study is meant to be just that: an act of worship. I will pursue rewriting and publishing this study until God either fulfills it or closes it down. Because in the end, it is meant to reflect Him and bring Him glory. Just because I am a little nervous and tired is not a reason to just sit down and call it done.