In the clinging, there is worship.
This past summer and fall, I ran dry. I was spent—physically and emotionally, rusty and dry. I couldn’t actually see it; it took someone dear to me expressing their concern before I began to really look at all that was going on in my heart.
You see, we were in the middle of a huge life change, and I was absolutely joyful over it. And just before that huge life change, something unrelated happened that was—possibly—the beginning of seeing a huge life dream come true. I’m leaving the specifics out because they’re not the theme of this post; we’ll just call them Huge Life Change and Huge Life Dream and leave it at that.
So, in hopes of pouring myself faithfully into the Huge Life Dream and Huge Life Change (which was also a dream come true), I had a very carefully planned out schedule. I had checklists, timers, notecards—all well and good, until slowly I began to realize… Huge Life Change and Huge Life Dream, both wonderful, amazing, oh-so-blessed things, were slowly morphing into idols, instead of forms of worship.
Eh? Idols? Forms of Worship? Aren’t those the same thing?
Close, but oh, so very far from being the same. How easily the worshipful acts we were created for can slip into idolatry! As I look back and see my ashy-faced self of the fall, the physical toll it all took on me, I can see it clearly: it all boils down to One Thing.
Literally, pushing all else aside and doing whatever one thing God has asked of me in this very moment. “Wherever you are,” Jim Elliot said, “Be all there.”
I was trying to be “all there” in three or four different areas of life all at once. It wasn’t working.
I wasn’t trusting God’s timing, I wasn’t doing the Huge Life things for Him, to worship Him. They’d become idols, and so very quietly!
I was trying too hard in my own strength, forgetting to lean on Him, forgetting He was the one who had brought these Huge Life things before me—with His purposes.
Relinquishment was in order. A gentle prying-loose of my white-knuckled fingers until, Dreams and Changes and everything in between… were surrendered back into the mighty, loving hands of the One who created them for me in the first place. It was time to trust the timing of The Dream back to the Giver of The Dream.
And I began to breathe again. In the letting go of everything else, my hands were free to cling to Him. To find the dreams and the purpose in every moment, in being “all there” in each second. I haven’t mastered it, but I’m so glad He’s taking me down this road.
I believe God dreams big for us. I’m not talking about tiny-moment dreams vs. big-picture dreams. I am proposing that those tiny moments? They’re not tiny. They’re part of His big dreams for us.
Will we pay Him heed just as much when He calls us to do something we perceive as a small act, as we do when He begins to tug on our hearts to do something we think is huge?
Will we listen when He tells us to close the laptop and open His word, just as much as we’ll pay attention when He tells us to go write that book, go move to that foreign city or country, go ____(insert other drastic calling/huge life dream here)____?
Will we trust that wherever He leads us, and whatever His timing is for our God-given dreams, we are living His purpose right now?
Our purpose in Him-- it is every second.
One moment at a time, lived that way, makes a day lived for Him.
One day at a time, lived that way, makes a life lived for Him.