I watched a movie last night…one where the main characters were married but decided to get a divorce after twenty plus years of marriage. The story was that they had lost sight of each other. And in the end, even after being apart, they realize that their marriage was worth fighting for and end up back together. That’s massively simplifying the movie; however, it’s a common story these days (both among church-goers and non-church goers alike): husband and wife stop really seeing each other and end up divorced, learning all-to-late that they didn’t value one another enough and didn’t really take care of each other that well.
I really sense God bringing to my attention this week not only through that movie but also through a handful of other sources the importance of really seeing who my husband is and valuing him. I feel the reminder to not miss him in the busy-ness, responsibilities, kids, and ministry that our life is during this season. I feel deeply impacted with the truth that it would be way better to be fighting for my marriage all along than wake up one day and realize I hadn’t really been seeing this man I married, to realize that I had allowed other things to take priority over him, to realize that I had forgotten to connect with and value his soul, to realize that I had somehow lost him in the madness that life can be. I don’t want to be that couple that one day fifteen years down the road realizes we had stop really seeing who each other is and stopped taking care of each other somewhere along the way and had ultimately drifted apart. I want to focus on and fight for my marriage today and everyday.
It takes intentionality, though. There are a myriad of distractions everyday that pull my attention and affection from my husband. That intentionality takes making choices about what I will spend my time on, so that I actually have time to spend on him. It takes making a point to always be getting to know this man I married, to search out his soul, to know his heart and not just assume that I already know everything about him…I don’t…he will always be changing and growing as life stages and circumstances shift. I want to keep getting to know him as my best friend for the rest of my life and never stop getting to know him.
It takes stopping to remember why I was so drawn to him twelve years ago. It takes remembering those strengths. It takes seeing his strengths now, seeing the things I most admire about him today. It takes asking myself if I am actually currently affirming his strengths and building him up.
I sense the value and importance of truly seeing my husband and valuing the man he is and not losing him nor losing our connection in the midst of all that happens in life.
So, I turn the same thoughts over to you. How is God leading you to truly see, focus on, and value your husband? Are you stepping into what God is showing you?
Let’s step forward today as a group of women fighting for our marriages in the present in hopes of seeing and valuing our husbands always.