I read the other night that the caterpillar changes its skin about four times before it moves on to encasing itself in a chrysalis.  Each time the caterpillar sheds its skin, its skin becomes more interesting. (1) Then eventually the caterpillar finds a safe, protected place, sheds its skin one more time, and that skin becomes a harder and harder casing that we know as the chrysalis. (2) It is in this hard, protective casing that the caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

This is where I have been the last year.  About a year ago, God began tying many pieces of my life together to point out some core false beliefs and broken patterns that He wanted to free me of…things I’ve lived from all of my life and to a varying degree in most of my relationships. 

So, I asked Jesus to break apart these broken patterns and make me new. 

I had no idea the year He would walk me into so that I would become new. 

This breaking off of that old “skin” came through my own health struggles, new parenting challenges, personal limitations, rejection, facing false beliefs and fears, and seeing myself honestly.

This breaking off of the old “skin” continued this way for about six months until I attended an incredibly powerful emotional healing training (click here).  Attending this training was the moment I identify as my chrysalis becoming complete…God using that experience to create a safe, protected space for me to go forward into the massive changing He was about to do in me.    

And that’s where I’ve been since.  In my chrysalis. 

God is doing some incredible things deep in my heart, in my little family, in how I live my everyday life, in how I care for myself, in how I interact with others, and in how I step into my place and call in His Kingdom.  But all of these changes have been protected and hidden in a safe place.  They haven’t been out in the open this time. 

Six months ago, I knew it was time to pause the blog.  I’ve written here some about a few things I wanted to share with you over these past few months, but honestly there is so much being overhauled inside me that it’s just too much to share out in the open.  I’ve written so openly in the past about all that God was doing in me and my life, much like the caterpillar shedding its skin over and over again out in the open for all to see…with small yet amazing changes happening each time…giving glory to an amazing Creator.  But now…this chrysalis season is something different.

What I know, though, is that Jesus is overhauling me.  He is breaking off the things that are not of Him so that I can ultimately live reflecting more and more of His original design.  It is in this place of deep transformation that I am currently living…quietly, safely, hidden, protected…so that when it is time, I will be able to break out ready to fly. 

Thanks for hanging in there with me as I live this chrysalis season!

(Image created through snappa.io)


(1) Turnbull, Stephanie, Caterpillars and Butterflies, p. 13.
(2) Ibid., p.14-15.